Odd Couples
by Blood Brandy
Summary: A series of snippets that makes you say...How in the blue, bloody blazes did they get paired up?
1. Naruto of Mars

**Yes, another snippet series. You know the drill, these are helping me clear the clutter in my head, and they make me laugh.**

******Disclaimer, I own neither the Harry Potter series nor any other series mentioned or involved in this. If you believed that I did,** you may be as smart as a space faring aquatic fowl.

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"He's WHAT!?"

That was the cry that echoed through the Hokage's Tower, frightening the already shaking Jiraiya to his core.

He steeled himself in front of his friend (and boss), before taking a deep breath, "Naruto's missing. I fell asleep while he was training and when I woke up he was gone."

Tsunade's mind was racing, "Okay, he can't have been taken too far in this short of a time, I can put together a tracking team, and..."

"Actually," Jiraiya interrupted nervously, "It hasn't been that short of a head start."

Tsunade leveled a glare at the toad man, "How-Long?"

Jiraiya gulped, feeling like he was staring down an angry bull, "I've been looking for him myself for about...three months." In less than a second, he was lifted by his vest and being shaken like a martini.

"You mean to tell me Naruto has been missing for three months and you didn't feel the need to inform us!?"

"I'm Sorry!" Jiraiya yelled, "I thought at first he just wandered off, that he'd be back in a few hours, then a day, then a week," Jiraiya saw this wasn't helping, since he couldn't remember ever seeing Tsunade this shade of red, "Look, I'm fairly certain that Akatsuki doesn't have him, and the toads say he's alive, they can't reverse summon him because he's somewhere too far off, so we know he can't be in any of the hidden villages and-"

"So all we know," Tsunade growled, is that Naruto is somewhere far from here because "YOU couldn't keep your eyes open? Give me one reason I shouldn't," She noticed his eyes widen as the room seemed to darken, "What?" she turned, only to see what was probably the last thing she ever expected to see, it was like something out of science fiction.

A flying Saucer...

An honest to god, big, metal, UFO...

As the screams from the village reached her ears, she took a defensive stance, ready to dodge any weapon she may see, as a hole opened in the ship and a platform extended, breaking through the window. Ready for the worst, the two Sannin watched a door in the hole slide open, a small figure stepped out, walking down the platform. It was wearing an odd type of armor, a bronze-ish color. He was at most about half the size of either Sannin, and its skin was completely black and it's eyes seemed too big for its head. It was soon flanked by a pair of floating, metal torsos, stylized like the odd mans armor, with odd looking weapons at the end of their arms. He looked at the two elder ninja, before speaking with his unseen mouth.

"Presenting, her highness, Ruler of Mars and Empress of the Martian Empire, Queen Tyr'ahnee, accompanied by her consort."

From the doorway stepped two figures. The first seemed to be a female of the announcers race, but unlike him was proportioned like a human woman, probably a bit better than most. She still had no visible mouth, but a pink mark across the bridge of her nose and long white hair, and dressed to the point that Jiraiya would have been drooling in a less serious situation. Her 'consort', however, was a surprise.

"Hey Baa-chan! Ero-Sennin! I'm back!"


	2. Frogs, Toads and Ninja

******Disclaimer, I own neither the Harry Potter series nor any other series mentioned or involved in this. If you believed that I did,** then you're definitely no Galvan.

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Naruto was kinda pissed.

Scratch that, he was really pissed. Oh yeah, Ero-Sennin _says_ he's gonna be teaching cool stuff, he _says_ he'll help Naruto get stronger...

Then he dumps the blond on Toad Mountain...

It wasn't bad, and it was kinda cool to hang out with Gamakichi, Gamatatsu and their friends, but he needed to train, and all ol' Pa toad told him to do was meditate.

"And stay away from the oil spring," Naruto mumbled to himself, scoffing, "What's it gonna do, turn me into a toad."

Sitting there, trying to 'Find his center', Naruto was barely able to sense the incoming attack in time to dodge, leaving a large, black pot-mark where he'd been standing.

"Hey, what the hell-" Naruto started, only to dodge another beam.

"Ah' right, monkey boy, what are ya doing on sacred Incursean land?"

Naruto finally managed to get a look at his attacker...

Dressed in a purple jacket, boots and hat, slim build, green skin, pouty lips, big, expressive eyes (Which were expressing anger, by the way)...

...Maybe he had just been away from humans for way too long, but she was, in a freaky, toad-person kinda way, cute, but then again, she was also pointing what seemed to be a weird weapon at him.

"Answer me, Monkey boy!"

"What did you call me, wart-hag!?" Naruto yelled, finding his voice.

_WHAM!_

WHAM!

Both Naruto and the toad girl were knocked to the ground by a staff blow to the head.

"Naruto-chan," Shima scolded the blond, "That's not how you talk to a lady!"

"Attea-Hime," Fukasaku echoed, "You should watch how you treat our guests."

It took the old toad a moment to realize both youths were out cold...

08080

Naruto and Attea glared at each other over the kitchen table, neither blinking as they held ice packs to their noggins. It was near perfect silence, only broken by the occasional tea sip from Fukasaku.

"Dinner!" Shima called, sliding a bowl in front of the teens.

Naruto looked down, picking up his chopsticks. It had taken a LOT of getting used to, but the food wasn't bad. It tasted...different, but in a good way, and he really didn't want Shima to head-check him again.

Attea, on the other hand, had forgone utensils and snapped her tongue into the bowl, pulling out an assortment of tasty critters. After years of packaged, preserved or foreign food, nothing was better than home cooking.

"Attea," Ma scolded, snapping the girl's hand with her staff, "Mind your manners."

"Yeah, yeah," Attea sighed as picked up the sticks. "Sho what'sh monkey boy doing here?" She asked, her mouth full and munching down some more creepy crawlies.

Naruto glared, almost smirking when Fukasaku beaned her on the head with his staff, _'almost'_ because when he did, she coughed a half chewed caterpillar onto Naruto's face.

"Whoops," Attea snickered before her tongue lashed out, slapping across Naruto's face, snatching the bug as it did.

"Anyway," Pa ground out, "Naruto is here to train. And Naruto, Attea here is a princess of an empire closely associated with out clan. Her father sent her here to learn some discipline. And the two of you had better get along, because, as of now, you are training partners."

Both teens blanched at that, "WHAT?"

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**FYI, this is before Omniverse. May add more to this later...**


End file.
